Pitchfork Reviews 5/21/08

The National
The Virginia EP
[Beggars Banquet; 2008]

Pitchfork gave it a 4.3.

My brain has always dismissed The National as "not Silver Jews." It's both unfair (deep-voiced songwriter guy does not have to equal Silver Jews) and fair (factually, this is not Silver Jews). I would rather listen to Silver Jews, though. All The National does is remind me that I'm either in the mood for Silver Jews or not. But that doesn't mean it's bad. You can be really really good and not be as good as Silver Jews. I like Silver Jews. Silver Jews.


The Cool Kids
The Bake Sale EP
[Chocolate Industries; 2008]

Pitchfork gave it a 7.8.

At the height of bling rap I was joking around with my brothers about a fake song I made up called "Diggity Gold." It was a fun enough goof that my brain latched onto it. "Gold gold gold diamonds, diggity gold. Gold gold gold strippers, diggity strippers." I think if I had actually done something about it, it could have been a novelty hit on par with "Fuck Shit Stack." The problem (among many) was I didn't have any good rhymes in there and I'm a terrible, terrible rapper. The one good joke rhyme I came up with was "I order three cheeseburgers, I only eat one/get the gold beef patty on the gold beef bun."

You don't have to think it's funny. I did. I do.

Anyway, these guys could slide a gold beef bun rhyme into their stuff no problem and it would sound totally natural. They're the funnest fun joke that's still good to dance to and listen to rappers since Spank Rock. Oh, wait: "Supermodels queef on my gold teeth for fun." Yes. Quality follow up.


Various Artists
Soul Messages from Dimona
[Numero Group; 2008]

Pitchfork gave it an 8.4.

I've written about Numero Group's penchant for story over content before, but this is probably the best story they've ever had. To the point where I really really really wish I liked this more than I do. It's a buncha Black Hebrew nationalists from Chicago that moved to Dimona, Israel and self-recorded soul tracks in Hebrew. It's an awesome story and the pictures are amazing.

The music? Medium good soul funk.


Devastations
Yes, U
[Beggars Banquet; 2008]

Pitchfork gave it a 7.7.

I thought this was gonna be electronic if a little dark, but it turned to straight-up goth rock in a hurry. What's up with Australians? Why do they need to sound so spooked out all the time? Is it the whole toilets-going-backwards thing? Couldn't be. Brazilians have backwards toilets too and their music is delightful. It must be the didgeridoo. I'd be spooked out too if that's all I ever heard when I was walking around town. It's got to be the most annoying instrument of all time.


Flying
Faces of the Night
[Menlo Park; 2008]

Pitchfork gave it a 5.8.

Andrew Gaering has his undies in a major league wad over the fact that this Flying album sounds different from their first album. I haven't heard that first album. This one sounds pretty good to me. It reminded me of Danielson Famile in that it's quirky and there are all kinds of instruments and quickchange arrangement tricks.

So I listened to a little of Fetch the Compass Kids. And man: Danielson Famile is annoying. No wonder everybody got so excited when Sufjan Stevens stole all the same arrangement stuff but didn't sound like somebody was stepping on his voice box. So I listened to some Sufjan Stevens. Nope. Still annoying. Actually worse than Danielson Famile.

Then I went back to listening to Flying and it sounded a lot better than Danielson Famile. Then I got curious about that first Flying album that Andrew Gaering says is like the total best. So I listened to some of that, and it's annoying me like it's Danielson Famile. So I went back to this second album one, and now that's annoying me too, even if still less than everything else I've been through on this horrible annoying journey.

Now I know what everybody's talking about when they say "quirky" is a descriptor of the worst things ever. It's like a neurotic subset of "cute." Which itself is a subset of "annoying." This music needs to grow up and stop showing me how fast it can run "to here to here" in its new sneakers. The grown-ups are talking, Flying. Hush.

And for good measure, just in case, I'm also kicking Zooey Deschanel out of my brain. There. I don't even know who that is anymore.