Pitchfork Reviews 4/18/08

Nadja
Skin Turns to Glass
Bliss Torn from Emptiness
[NOTHingness; 2003/2008 / Fargone; 2005/2008]

Pitchfork gave it a 7.0/8.0.

Drugs make a big difference with music. Sometimes. Sometimes they tell you "guess what: while you were high as a kite, theoretically at your very most receptive to the repetitive, directionless, forceful drone of something like Earth, you still just fell asleep waiting for the drums to kick in, and woke up later dehydrated and headachey, a.k.a. same as no drugs."

I guess it depends on your intake and personality. I have a blind spot for drone metal, though. Whatever it's supposed to do to people has never quite been done to me. I saw Sunn O))) live once. It was a mix between boring and funny so I went to the back of the bar and talked to people. I was not stoned. I got drunk. Maybe that was "wrong" of me, but it didn't feel that way. Also: maybe I was stoned. I can't remember. If I was stoned, it's pretty incredible that I'd choose to talk to people instead of listening to music. Maybe that's what it's supposed to do: bludgeon you with high-volume once-a-minute power chords until you actually appreciate life's more human qualities. Even after goofadoodles in the back room of an hourlong Sunn O))) set (they play on the border of the pain threshold so the badvibes permeate a block radius, it doesn't really matter what you're doing as long as you're nearby), I was ready to listen to "No Rain" on repeat for a day. Actually, it's possible that the girl I did those shots with was the grown-up bee girl. I wouldn't bee surprised.

I figure all of this just means I'm not into this kind of stuff, which is no crime. I'm not the only one. It seems like a lot of work for nothing to try and get into something that is actively trying to put you into some kind of a loud, Satanic bum-out trance. You (I) could just as easily use those drugs at home and watch "Conan the Barbarian" and get roughly the same effect without putting your(my)self out too much. That movie rules.

Oh and by the way, Nadja is both less good and better than Earth and/or Sunn O))). "Less good" because it doesn't go as far in the direction it wants to go--Sunn O))) in particular get huge points for dressing like druids and generally functioning just as well as a put-on as an actual "no seriously, for serious" group. But Nadja is also "better" because the drums actually do sometimes kick in.

Either way, I'll be in the back room downing Natty Bo with the other bored girlfriends until it's time to leave.


Magnetic Morning
Magnetic Morning EP
[iTunes / DH; 2008]

Pitchfork gave it a 3.8.

Evidently, the resultant mediocrity of this collaboration between the drummer from Interpol and the guitarist/vocalist from Swervedriver was more of a disappointment than a foregone conclusion for some people in 2008.

Shoegaze is a strange genre to have mount a comeback. It was a punchline for so long. The categorization (as they all are) is derisive. "These fucking kids just stare at their shoes. Snoooze. Next." It's like the emo (90's "core" version) comeback. How can this be? "Emo" as a descriptor was basically the same thing as "fag" for a lion's share of the 2000's. Now we're supposed to be psyched about Japandroids? Really? Nobody's gonna beat us up? Not that there's anything wrong with fagginess, I just didn't expect this. That's all.

But I get the feeling I won't have to worry about this for long. The drummer from Interpol and the guitarist/vocalist from Swervedriver are already in on the act, which means this "revival" movement is probably D.O.A. It strikes me the same as the early 80's, when there were all kinds of faux "directions in rock" that never went anywhere. Like the "New Romantics" or the "Mod Revival" or non-Springsteen non-Mellencamp "Blue Collar Rock." This "Neugaze" feels like one of those. Of course now we have the internet and digital production, so the hype cycles on these abortive revival movements are like a minute long. It's at the point where I'm not sure why I'm bothering other than loving the sound of my own voice.

Anyway, yeah, this sucks, but it's just an EP and I find it actually sucks less than both Interpol and Swervedriver, so it should be changed to a retroactive 7.2.


The Plastic Constellations
We Appreciate You
[Frenchkiss; 2008]

Pitchfork gave it a 7.1.

This would be awesome if it was dumber and less tight. There's a lot of fun group yelling, but unfortunately they sound dead cold sober, so it comes off more like Polyphonic Spree than Tenpole Tudor. Actually: it's The Fratellis. But less catchy.

I'm sorry, but I'm a snob for group yelling. I have a very specific agenda.


eMC
The Show
[M3; 2008]

Pitchfork gave it a 7.9.

This memory is hazy. One of the radio stations near where I grew up, 98 Rock out of Baltimore, had its own parody songs, "Twisted Tunes," that I used to like when I was 11 or 12. Stuff like Elmer Fudd singing "Hurt" by Nine Inch Nails (maybe it was another song, I can't remember, but something mildly funny like that). I think one of them, and I'm trying to look it up on the internet without much success, was a full-length exact copy of Joe Walsh's "Life's Been Good" with lyrics about living in the suburbs, like "I go outside and clean up the yard... pick up the dog doo... hope that it's hard."

At the time I didn't know anything about Joe Walsh, and I think maybe a part of my brain thought the suburb version was the real version, and the 1978 "Maserati does 185" version was the fake one. Of course it doesn't really matter, they're both goofs.

This makes me think about that because it's a hip hop album where the whole schtick is being middle class rappers. They do a show and then there's no party afterwards. The promoter is two hours late to pick them up form the airport (which he does himself), that kind of a thing. It's like reality rap, but for reality. And I kind of hope that there's a kid out there who heard this before hearing any other hip hop album and then thinks that everything else is a joke and this is the real shit. Which would be accurate.


Capillary Action
So Embarrassing
[Pangaea; 2008]

Pitchfork gave it a 7.3.

I don't remember the exact moment I first thought this, but the last couple of trips to Six Flags have made me think that I'm now too old for roller coasters. You have to stand in line and wait forever with a bunch of other idiots, and then finally you get to go on this thing that shakes up your insides like one of those paint can things and causes your adrenal glands to empty everything they've got into your body all in one shot, and you end up clammy, upset, and nauseous after like 90 seconds. Hey, I love fun as much as the next guy, but at a certain point it's both more convenient and cheaper to cut out the middle man and just go ahead and smoke crack.

Well: this is one of those "compositional whiplash" bands like Mr. Bungle or System of a Down or Orthrelm or Faraquet or...

Should I keep going, or do you wanna get off the ride yet?