You Are Here
[Bluhammock Music; 2008]
Pitchfork gave it a 4.8.
The above-linked Pitchfork review by Ian Cohen drops a mention that this band had a song on an episode of "The O.C." I love it when something from two years ago is so simultaneously dated and succinct. This is one of those "up and coming" bands that got a track on "The O.C." back when people thought that might have been some kind of a big deal.
Portishead
Third
[Island / Mercury; 2008]
Pitchfork gave it an 8.8 and listed it as the 2nd best album of 2008.
When their first album Dummy first came out in 1994, nobody knew it was going to be played over and over and over again in every shitty "lounge" bar/restaurant and "boutique" shoe store that wanted to uncreatively signify aloof/mysterious/sexy/underworld/bored/luxuriant hipness for at least a decade. If you have ever worked at a place that serves expensive food past midnight or charged more than $150 for a single article of clothing, you have absolutely heard Dummy over 50 times. It was and still is the just-as-ubiquitous nighttime companion piece to Air's more daytime-oriented Moon Safari.
Those are both decent enough albums, but we don't really need more, do we? The easy answer is "no, we don't." Sorry, that's what happens when you sit back and watch for 11 years in between releases as your debut album becomes close to an architectural fixture for upscale retail locations. And now the only people who need more Portishead are people who have aspirations to live and/or be seen in a fancy lounge and/or shoe boutique place. In other words: rich twats and the few remaining ostriches who would emulate them (I could say more here about how the 2000's was all about being credit card rich and living in a $600,000 house even though you're a sous chef, but we all read the papers).
But that's a description of the backlash which kept me from getting into this album when it came out. What about the music? Well, it starts out as a decent enough retread of the early stuff. And even if we're talking retreads of earlier stuff: the shorthand association with bored luxury is mostly not Portishead's fault. They do quietly menacing to a headnodding rhythm better than anybody. Ok. Then a handful of tracks deep, this album twists earlier Portishead into moments darker and more hostile in a near-Suicide/Silver Apples direction than anything I've previously heard Portishead do.
I like it. It serves notice: if people want to look cool and unconcerned while listening to Portishead, they're going to have their patience tested. And the music is going to drip with enough tension that anything luxurious you attach it to is going come off more like the third act of "Caligula" than the first act. Rich twats take notice. You're going to have to actually be a pretty fucking cool customer to remain unaffected while Third is playing. No more pretendsies.
I for one am not cool enough to listen to this all the way through without getting annoyed and turning it off. It's not the languid downtempo spy-house base or the repetitive synth-punk Suicide/Silver Apples stuff that's the problem. It's the mid-career Siouxsie-syle wailing. Annoying.
But as I've said before, annoying is a better risk to run than pandering, for the simple adolescent reason that you should grab on with both hands whenever you have an opportunity to empty out an overpriced shoe store without getting the cops called on you. Good for Portishead.
Madonna
Hard Candy
[Warner Bros.; 2008]
Pitchfork gave it a 5.3.
Ugh God, Madonna. Put it away. I'm glad you're in a position to put out the "I want my vulva licked" message at age 50 and set it to a Timbaland beat and have it danced to by a ton of club-going homosexuals, like that's great and that's empowering and all, but some of us just had lunch.
Evangelista
Hello, Voyager
[Constellation; 2008]
Pitchfork gave it a 7.0.
But as I've said before, annoying is a better risk to run than pandering, for the simple adolescent reason that you should grab on with both hands whenever you have an opportunity to empty out an overpriced shoe store without getting the cops called on you. Good for Portishead.
Bad for Evangelista.
For the record, I don't actually like being annoyed. I would just choose, if I had to, that music go in the direction of annoying rather than going for the lowest common denominator and treating its listeners (thinking of its listeners at all, really) with kid gloves. At a certain point, though, if you're a one-trick pony and annoying is what you do best, being annoying is pandering. AND annoying. Double whammy.
Russian Circles
Station
[Suicide Squeeze; 2008]
Pitchfork gave it a 6.9.
There's a certain dull, wet snare sound that means your band sucks. Like instead of making a sharp "crack" sound, it makes a crystal clear but dampened "whap" noise. I tried to go on YouTube to find something that could help me explain it better, but all I got was instructional drumming videos by guys who look like they have halitosis (you can just tell) and talk way to reverently about their "craft" (it's whacking things with sticks, guys). These videos are more entertaining than this band.
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